Couples Therapy

Ten key relationship blocks!

2009-07-02T18:52:00.000-07:00

Whatever blocks exist in the tangle of relationships there is hope!

I've create a list of the typical big 10! CLICK IMAGE TO ENLARGE

insufficient pre-relationship work;
any Addiction! {Our area of expertise};
fear of closeness;
lack of shared information;
resentments;
denial of personal responsibility;
put-downs;
hypersensitivity;
reactivity;
poor needs negotiation...

Any or all of the above begin the erosion of any real and meaningful connection in a marriage/partnership. Psychotherapy is a the idea and most in-depth way to deal with any relationship issues or deficits.

I strongly encourage anyone struggling to approach a very experienced Psychotherapist, and have a session. I personally offer intensive retreats, as with multiple sessions per day the progress made has untold benefits over weekly therapy.

Let me know your thoughts.
Peace,
Brian

1-604-746-1164

click the two images below to enlarge brochure

www.innercare-co u ples.org
Innercare Services International Inc.
Based in British Columbia near the US border... serving the world!

Therapy meets Meditation for intimacy issues

2009-06-12T19:32:00.000-07:00

To address intimacy issues I have found that it's best to draw on both the old and the new:

* The wisdom of the ancient practices of Meditation, teach self-intimacy and allow each person to own their 'stuff'... to make space for another.
* Psychotherapy is the ideal modern tool to heal the early deficits or problems learned in relating to others that eventually manifest in adult relations.

In my wide and long experience, both these tools create a perfect combination for allowing people to know love in the depth of their being!

Peace,
Brian { A former Monk/spiritual adviser... a Psychotherapist who now runs intensive healing retreats}.

www.innercare-couples
www.innercare.org info@innercare.org

Blocks to intimacy - part one.

2009-05-09T13:22:00.000-07:00

What limits the capacity for real love and mature love in all our relationships?
Well there are several issues that will get in the way:

childhood experiences... dysfunctional parenting will leave it's mark even a strong reaction to negative parental influences is ultimately unhelpful in finding the deepest intimacy/love.
ruptures in early relationships and marriages leave chronic wounds that are the kind of classic heartbreak that requires specialised healing.
Blocks to a deep spiritual process leave the person solely reliant on human understandings of love.
a lack of the capacity for self-love!

The profound process of Psychotherapy offers hope but has the unfortunate limits of weekly sessions over months and years. In my approach I have revised this model to intensify the healing process in brief retreats that allow the healing precess to be speeded up.

Peace,
Brian
info@innercare.org
www.innercare-couples.org
1-604-746-1164 or 1163
Serving North America and the rest of the world!

WHAT IS LOVE?

2009-04-24T10:18:00.000-07:00

What exactly is love... at its core or essence?
Can you go:

beyond all that you have known so far?
beyond the love you've been shown?
beyond cultural understandings of love?
beyond any hurtful or abusive experiences?
beyond religious notions?
beyond and concept of love!?

I'm not saying that what we you know about love is wrong or bad for you... but it may be self-limiting and could greatly benefit from an entirely new and refreshing direct meeting with love. So, the stripping away of all that was previously known allows this to happen. This can be very painful and challenging as there is a realization that what is know is flawed in some way, and born out of unhelpful projections etc.

That's why I offer retreats that create the environment to meditate of the essence of love by a radical process of letting go... knowing by unknowing!Please blog, email or call if you want any other info.
e. info@innnercare.org
t. 1-604-746-1164 w. WWW.INNERCARE-COUPLES.ORG

Stuck in you 'story' ?

2009-03-15T00:45:00.000-07:00

Are you stuck in your marriage or life 'story'?... your life script... a product of you past culture and family? If you want to break free and attain a liberation that will effect all your relationships then you need to look deep within in meditation, and face some key questions... existential questions! {the image to the Rt. shows art Meditations}.
What is?:

sexuality?
friendship?
partnership?
marriage?
a husband?
a wife?
infatuation?
communication?
understanding?
reality?

You need to face these and other questions for many hours stripping away the ego's grasp... till eventually you break-thru... then all is well, as the fundamental barrier between you and the world is dissolved. You simply can love without judgment! You are free!

Let me know if you want more on this!
Blog me, call: 1-604-746-1164,
Or email me: info@innercare.org

Peace,
Brian
Based in Canada... serving the world!

Intimacy thru Meditation!

2009-03-09T19:46:00.000-07:00

It's easy to become overly focused on sorting out interpersonal issues to help a struggling relationship to grow... I offer some caution here! In my experience we tend to be dysfunctional in relationship to the extent we have not resolved inner conflicts etc.

Meditation is a simple, ancient way to help gain self-intimacy and awareness.

Here is a quick guide to Meditation:
1. Sit in a comfortable position... upright but relaxed.
2. Gently close your eyes.
3. Become ever more aware of the breath.
4. Allow you breathing to change from chest/lung breathing to belly breathing... allowing the stomach to fill up with air on the in-breath.
5. So letting go of all else [sounds, smells, memories etc] focus only on the breath... tracking it in thru the nostrils... circulation in the belly and being release thru the mouth.
6. Long slow deep breathing.
7. Ever more slowly; ever more deeply!
8. Keep this up for up to 20 min.
9. Take time to come into a normal state of awareness.

The benefits of this kind of meditation on mood management, stress, anxiety, parenting, emotional intelligence etc are well researched! As a former monk I can honestly say that I've seen real personal development growth as a result of regular meditation. It is a very popular skill we teach on our retreats.

Blog me or email me or call: 1-604-746-1164

Peace,

Brian & Catherine

Living with a dry-drunk?

2009-02-27T10:33:00.000-08:00

After the person has stopped drinking a marriage and family may still suffer from bad behavior!
The question I pose is: ‘what is the quality of recovery?’ The bottom line is that if you really are dry dunk then you are not far from a slip/binge/relapse! I’m afraid there is way too much focus on time in recovery, and not enough on what’s really going on inside the person.

~ Common Symptoms of dry drunk syndrome:
~ Arrogant;
~ Very judgmental;
~ Impatient;
~ Child-like behavior;
~ Irresponsible actions;
~ Irrational thoughts;
~ Blames others;
~ Over the top reactions.

I see a lot of people who have been in the fellowships for some time and yet do not have a real handle on recovery… they are struggling and know they need more help. For instance: if you don’t have a real spiritual connection or practice, then there’s something lacking in your recovery or attempts at recovery . That’s the beginning of a truly honest look inside. If you are working with any gifted psychotherapist &/or pastor then you’ll be looking at the deepest parts of yourself.

Call: 1-604-746-1164, blog or email {info@innercare.org} if you want advice or are supporting a loved one.
Peace,
Brian
Located in the Fraser Valley & Vancouver, B.C. ... proudly serving the world.

Self care for couples

2009-02-19T23:13:00.000-08:00

Many couples run into severe difficulties when the honeymoon phase is over!

But, why exactly is this? Well, all sorts of projections are involved in the falling in love phase.

This is a deeply emotionally stirring time and most people simply enjoy it and don't reflect on the deeper significance. Eventually it can all catch up with you and you are at or coming toward a cross roads in your relationship/marriage. Many people seek counseling... but this isn't a good fit for deeper work! Others seek psychotherapy... a good choice of you can find a gifted therapist. But, it all comes down to how good a relationship you have within! You simply can't live thru another person... that's unhealthy dependency = co-dependency. Real intimacy is only achieved when you are in tune with yourself!

Please call/email or blog me if you want any assistance.

Peace,

Brian & Catherine

info@innercare.org

innercare-couples.org

1-604-746-1164